News — April 01, 2015 by John Apted
The iMan: Apple’s Newest Announcement

The iMac. It was Apple’s first major product. Since then, Apple has expanded their products iPhone 6, iPad Mini, etc. Now, recently, Apple has announced its newest piece of technological brilliance, one that will forever change what you think you know about technology: the iMan.

The iMan is the first human-like android to hit the open market. It has been under construction for five and a half years, and is set to be officially released sometime in late 2015. Apple’s CEO Tim Cook released the product to a private viewing party, telling everyone that the iMan will revolutionize the world of devices for the everyday person. When asked if Apple’s latest product would have the ability to take over the world, Cook replied, “We took great strides to make our androids as safe as possible, and none of them will be overthrowing the government and making us their slaves. You have nothing to worry about.” Most people in the audience still felt uneasy.

Now we get to the question that’s on everyone’s mind: “How does it work?” The iMan will have a switch on the inside of the arm that turns it on and off. It responds to any command and will do that command within seconds. The iMan has a camera in it’s left eye for any pictures that need to be taken. The new android runs on battery power, and has a charger with an extension cord that is plugged into the left ear drum. Cook highlights: “It’s the most handy electronic they’ve released yet”, said a lucky customer who got a chance to try it, “I literally don’t have to do anything anymore.”

The iMan is the revolutionary new “tech toy” that Apple has announced. The fear of it uprising against us and taking over the world is all but gone. I am excited for the new iMan, are you? It may come as a surprise, but Pacifica is looking to invest in some to enhance the learning experience, so we may have some of our very own to learn from.

APRIL FOOLS’

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